We must always remember sexuality is a part of the human makeup; however, there is a time and place for it.
The Word of God is very clear about sex when it comes to the believer. Saint Paul gave a strict command to the unmarried and widow in regards to marriage in the book of Corinthians 7:7-9, which states, “For I wish that all men were even as I myself. But each one has his own gift from God, one in this manner and another in that. (8) But I say to the unmarried and widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am: (9) but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.” (NKV)
Here Paul is clearly speaking of his personal experience, by remaining single and exercising self-control over his sexuality and living a celibate life. He is saying marriage or celibacy is an individual preference; depending on the individual needs, but sex outside marriage is not permitted by God, according to the Word of God. If you are placed, or if you are living in a sexually uncomfortable position with someone who lives around you and are not married, I would suggest to you to get married, and avoid fornication, if you love them.
However, there is nothing wrong with being a virgin when you get married, nor is it a sin not to get married; but whichever it may be, you must be in control of your sexual feelings and remain sexually celibate. Individuals who prefer to stay single are required by the Word of God to remain celibate; because you are single and you get sexual urges, you are not to act on them as the married couple does. This is what Paul means about “burn with passion”–if it is too much to remain single and not have sex, then it is time to get married.
Our children and young people see far too much provocative sexual behavior on television between men and women that arouses their sexuality before time, and they are unable to know what to do with these feelings, so they reach out, sometimes in the wrong way and around the wrong people. This is how some young people get turned on to sex before it’s time. When children see adults naked in the privacy of their homes, this may also arouse their sexuality, and children are unable to express their sexual feelings like adults. This also gets the child seeking ways to satisfy his/her urges before it’s time.
But let me make it quite clear–sex outside of marriage is forbidden. In the view of God, sex is only between a husband and wife. Hebrews 13:4 states: “Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.” Marriage is encouraged, rather than having sex without being married, for to have sex being single is committing fornication. “…but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. (19) Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God and you are not your own?” (I Corinthians 6:18-20)
I know young people are under a tremendous amount of pressure at school with their friends trying to get them to have sex, but we must encourage them to remain abstinent no matter what, until they decide to get married. It is important for our young people to remain abstinent, because AIDS is spreading so rapidly; it’s reaching too many of our young children. Having safe sex is not the answer, but having no sex is clearly one way of stamping out that deadly disease called AIDS.