Public breakups are never a good idea.
It’s bad enough to have to deal with all the drama of a fight in a first place, but when this pair broke up on comedian Kyle Ayers’ rooftop Saturday evening while he tried to relax and take in the view, he decided to make the best of it: He live-tweeted the whole thing.
Ayers started it all off with a single tweet as his rooftop reverie was interrupted, hashtagging it #roofbreakup.
@kyleayers: A couple is breaking up on my roof right now. I was just trying to enjoy the view. Now I will live tweet the breakup. #roofbreakup
As the couple got warmed up, Ayers could clearly tell that the battle was going to be a saucy one, so he was diligent about his note-taking. While some of the conversation was a little too NSFW to share, some of it yielded absolute gems.
@ kyleayers: “I’m not looking for marriage, just what’s right below marriage” — girl #roofbreakup
As if that wasn’t a confusing enough comment, it only turned up the heat on the playing field.
@kyleayers: “You never let me talk!” — both #rooftopbreakup
But like many arguments between couples, it got to the point where the retorts kind of turned into nonsense.
@kyleayers: “You think I’m immature? Calling people immature is immature!” — guy #rooftopbreakup
Eek. This guy is certainly not earning any points here.
@kyleayers: “Stop shivering.”— guy #rooftopbreakup Well, we all knew it was going to come to this part, but here we go.
@kyleayers: “Do you love me?” — girl (OH BOY HERE WE GO, PEOPLE) #roofbreakup
Time for the guy to deliver the fatal deathblow. Or, in this case, the casual refusal to answer his sort-of-girlfriend’s question, which is basically the same thing.
@kyleayers: “Look I’m not a guy who’s into labels, Rachel. You knew that getting in.” — guy #roofbreakup
Rachel has had enough (not a shock there, folks).
@kyleayers: “I can’t do this. You’re a waste of my time.” — girl #roofbreakup It could end right here, but the guy’s got one more shining gem up his sleeve.
@kyleayers: “Are we getting pizza or what? I don’t mean to change the subject but are we?” — guy #rooftopbreakup
Ayers was even present to witness the triumphant ending of the epic rooftop battle.
@kyleayers — RACHEL IS WALKING AWAY #roofbreakup And that, my friends, is a wrap.
Colette Bennett | CNN